Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Portland Feel To It
And with the beginning of new day here in this corner of the Internet I call home. After taking two months off from the gym (it was all because of The Great Toenail Removal Project of ’08 and not because I am a lazy fuck) I returned to great success, by which I mean I got my ass on a treadmill for over an hour without passing out. Sure, my pace was off but I am just glad I didn’t die. Now all I have to do is remember how to run on a treadmill again and we will be back in business.
My self improvement project of myself is moving along swimmingly. My hair has moved up the rating scale from attractive to super fantastic. Strangers on the street are stopping me to ask me where I get my hair done. This is step one in becoming Agent Breck.
Step two is that my invisaligns are more than half-way done, a mere three more months and my “American Teeth” will be “Hollywood Teeth” and I will spend my time being super smiley. This is coupled with my stupidly shallow obsession with my eyelashes, which have now been extended. This really is better living through science people. I dreamt of the day when eyelash extensions would be within reach and now here I am, with newly extended lashes, super straight teeth and shiny hair. I AM AGENT BRECK!*
Step three is the gym. I hate the gym and always will but I am now determined to be a gym freak. In January I am going home for my sister’s baby shower. Coincidentally the date of the baby shower is also my 30th birthday. Awesome. So I am now determined to loose as much weight as possible in the next 3 months, have super hair, super eyes and super teeth because people I cannot face 30 while being anything other than absolutely fabulous. I was not made to be 30 but if I have to be 30 I will be fan-friggen-tastic at 30.
* The Breck Girl was always so super fantastic and smiley and wide-eyed!