Laughing All The Way

Monday, April 17, 2006

I am not an aircraft

You know how when someone confesses a crime, they always claim: “It was an accident.”?

I didn’t mean to sleep with him, it was an accident (like you accidentally fell pussy down on an erect dick?).

I didn’t mean to stab that old lady, it was an accident (like the old bird ran in to the knife you were holding blade out?).

I didn’t mean to snort that line, it was an accident…well it really was. Okay, maybe not an accident, but there was this party…and it was so casual…and I didn’t think it was a big deal. But I didn’t tell Bruce (I tried and I know it’s so fucking passive to do this).

Bruce is away on business. He said good-bye via text message. Right.

I know that he’s a neophyte to this whole grown-up dating thing, but to send a text, knowing that we weren’t going to speak for the better part of a week, it’s just that sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t have to teach certain social queues. After all this time, he still does this shit that makes me kind of wonder. And just to validate that I am not over-reacting, I check in with other people, turns out I am not expecting too much.

I’ve always been told that I expect too much, so I try to temper what I expect with what I say that I expect. I don’t want to be too overwhelming or too demanding. I get that and create a well organized system of checks and balances. I edit my internal monologue and craft my message to read softer than what I hear shouted between my ears.

Now if only I could have this conversation with Bruce without being pissy. Good thing I am being slightly passive aggressive and I know that he will read this and be all Doh!

Passive aggression: a sure way to avoid a fight.

PS. Look at all the categories that this one fits!