Laughing All The Way

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Descent-Not safe for work!

My low has just gotten lower.

In my effort to find a way to sleep (I was sleeping at 11 PM and woke up at 1 AM) I started reading a bunch of new blogs, boring blogs because what better way to make me sleepy. One post mentioned a few blogs that I had heard/read about but never read myself. Fleshbot (I’m not linking for a reason, we’ll get to that) is one of those “best of sex blogs” but several of the blogs I read have been in the Fleshbot round up for best post of the week, which just means that the blogger in question wrote about sex and lots of people referred that post to Fleshbot (I think that’s how this works).

Not thinking things were too nitty gritty I perused, after all I haven’t bought porn in ages and maybe I am in the market for “Meaty Treats” or “Sodom 3”. Turns out, not so much, BUT below these posts (scroll down a few more entries, you’ll know it when you see it) I came to what looked like a YouTube link. (THIS IS NOT A YOUTUBE LINK).

Because I cannot draw this out, you get the bullet point version of the event:

Open to the front seat of a car with a woman freely lubricating the various gear shifting/emergency braking sticks Woman lowers herself upon the gear shift and proceeds to pleasure herself Woman pulls off the gear shift and skillfully inserts the e-brake into herself Blah Blah Blah-there’s some German sounding words here, which still does not explain this Woman inserts the e-brake into her, errr derriere Woman participate in water sports Woman double-dips and re-pleasures herself with e-brake and gear shift Woman makes sure to taste whatever was on the e-brake

Okay, so I watched to whole thing, more accurately I fast-forwarded because there is only so much gear-shift sex that one person can watch without feeling some sympathetic pains, but what I was thinking the entire time: “I wonder if that is a rented car? I mean, it’s not like someone is going to want to mess up their own car. Who wants to smell hooch and ass every time they shift into first? And urine is hard to get out of upholstery, that is certainly a scent that lingers, as I’ve learned from standing next to homeless people in cities. So, based on the premise that this car is rented, I am pretty sure that no matter what the parameters are, I am never renting a car ever again as long as I live.”

And I use to think I was a rebel for smoking cigarettes in rented cars.