Whatsamatta U
One of my favorite episodes of Sex and the City is Escape from New York. The girls go to LA with Carrie while she works on a movie option for her book. I love the episode for all the right reasons: the full Brazilian waxing; Miranda on a mechanical bull; and Matthew McConaughey. When I first saw the episode I shared the outrage of Carrie when Matthew accused her of being the problem. He looked at her and said: “This Big guy seems great, so what’s wrong with you?” She did a Carrie-esque gasp of horror and tried to defend herself. At the time I thought she was right, but these days I am inclined to think he’s right.
Over the past three months I have been steadily dating. Sure I have had some fun and great dates but I never seem to hear back from the nice guys. Of course I’ve also been on a significant number of absolutely crap dates with the dregs of society. Funny enough, I don’t usually hear back from these guys either. I don’t really mind not hearing back from them, but if the dregs of society don’t want to date me, I have to start thinking: “What’s wrong with me?”
Last night I had plans to meet the Pessimist. He introduced himself to me by saying that he was moving to the West Coast because he hates Boston and believes that everyone in Boston are cold, mean, self-serving jerks. I kind of paused and reminded him that I was from Boston. He never really said a polite “excluding present company of course” half-assed apology; he just kind of grunted. Since the beginning of this dating thing, I have turned down only a single person and that was based on extreme rudeness. When the Pessimist invited me to a movie that was playing last night I accepted.
When I spoke to him yesterday afternoon he spun into a tirade about his ex-roommate and ex-landlord who apparently were both trying to con him into paying bills and rent for which he was not responsible. Basically everyone was trying to scam and deceive him. I listened to his complaints and said very little. As the time for meet him approached, I started dreading the date. If the date went well, who cared? He is moving away. If the date went poorly I would just be depressed about yet another crap date. Either way, I was in no mood to spend several hours with someone who thus far had spent the entire time he spoke to me whining about how the world done him wrong.
So I called and said that I had to work late. Not exactly a lie, I did end up working late, but I could have done the work another time. I ended up going to my friends’ house for dinner. I was really glad I went to dinner at this couple. I hadn’t seen them since the early summer and they reminded me what conversing with smart, funny, interesting and dynamic people was like. Basically, they reminded me that the type of person for whom I am looking does exist.
Now I can’t help but think about fate. Do we get what we deserve? If the whole world is doing you wrong, then maybe you’ve behaved in such a manner that you deserve the cosmic shit coming you way. If you keep going on crap dates with people who are completely unsuited to your personality then maybe the cosmos is trying to tell you something. Maybe it is me.