The chill explained: put up or shut up
06/05/2006
The reason why I need this completed is because I need to know that Bruce can be responsible. I am giving up a lot to move so that he and I can build a life together and for some reason, this has become a thing. I’m fine with the idea that I am going to make a sacrifice or two for this, but I am not fine with having to be the sole responsible party here. I need to know that he is going to do what he says he’s going to do and that I can depend on him.
I was talking to Willis tonight and she, being the best friend from forever and a day, knows things and can verbalize what is bugging me better than I can. What came of the conversation was the point that for the past 6 months Bruce has been rather vocal in his dislike for his job. He still says that he might stay, but to hear him speak, he’s already gone. Except, he has to do his resume. For 6 months. He has been saying. The. Same. Things.
When I went to go visit him he had almost no work to do except this one thing. And nothing.
We went away for the long weekend and he brought his laptop. I went on a three hour tour of a spa, leaving him with explicit instructions. And still nothing.
We returned to the city with both of us stating that he still really needed to do this one thing. And still nothing.
His co-workers have threatened to call me to goad, shame, and/or coerce him into doing this one thing. And still nothing.
So here I sit, knowing that he was totally aware of what I said. He knew I was entirely serious. And still nothing.
Maybe Bruce was all full of shit, the men, they occasionally are full of shit. Maybe he was just being whiny about his job, but if that is so, then there needs to be someone else to whom he moans, because the Girl, she has reached her breaking point.
Let’s have a lesson in how women think: I stated that I would refuse to speak to him until this was done and I had proof of it. He failed to meet my request. He clearly has no desire to speak to me. Considering that we speak three times a day, maybe what he’s really trying to say is that he’s just not that into me.
Whether my hypothesis is correct or not, is not really the point (just illustrating why girls are crazy) . The point is that Bruce needs to make up his mind…and he’s still in time-out.
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Truthfully, I don’t think you’re being very fair to me here, particularly if you’re going to link it to broader themes of responsibility. It’s not as if I’ve spent the last six months frolicking in a meadow. This “one thing” shares bandwidth with a whole lot of other competing obligations, nearly all of which are more immediate in priority. Obviously I wish that ideal circumstances prevailed and that I had this (along with about a hundred other things) done sooner…but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Maybe he was just being whiny about his job, but if that is so, then there needs to be someone else to whom he moans, because the Girl, she has reached her breaking point.
Fair enough.
A resume can be a hard thing to do. I’ve been planning to do mine for, oh, about three years now.
In other words I don’t think that your hypothesis is correct.
Minx- possibly the best thing anyone could do at this point. Heck I want to walk away from this (the argument) but nooooo. Why do people annoy me? You would think they would stop with the annoyingness.
J- Thanks for chiming in, I am sure Bruce appreciates the support.
Bruce- Fair has nothing to do with this. I don’t think you want to make this a battle of inequities because I will win. And the winning deathblow would be: “I don’t care. I want what I want.”
I never said that it had to be perfect I just said I wanted a copy in my email. And it is a symptom of something bigger, much bigger. I wonder how much you would be able (not happy but able) to put off in another situation.
And don’t you dare be bothered about this being harsher than you deem necessary. This is Some Girl’s place, remember what we talked about, and you had every opportunity to avoid this entire situation.
And I can’t wait to have make-up sex.
I gotta back you on this. This is your place to vent, and, sorry Bruce, we girls need a place to say exactly what we think without having to stress about sugar-coating it. Doing what you say you are going to do, when you say your are going to do it, is a HUGE thing - even if the thing in question seems insignificant.
Omigod. Bruce and Some Girl are going to have make-up sex. Omigod. Omigod. Omigod.
Eek.
Um, Bruce, just admit she’s right. You need to pick your battles, my man.
I am all for backing away quickly and quietly.
Ouch! I didn’t realize there were posts going on before I posted. I don’t think I’d have posted if I realized that.
You’re quite forgiven…
after all, I am a very forgiving person.