Remember that time you accidentally bought crack instead of coke?
Me neither, I’m just saying, remember that time?
Seriously, two friends (we’ll call them Calamity and Jane- if you knew that you would know why that works) were not in their city of abode and decided they were in the mood for a little something. The walked down the street inquiring if there were any purveyors of the product they sought (“Got any blow?” “Got any blow?” “Got any blow?”). Eventually they came across a gentleman, heretofore known as Super Shady Guy, who claimed that he could supply Calamity and Jane with the goods they desired. At this point Calamity and Jane invited Super Shady Guy BACK TO THEIR HOTEL ROOM????
(It’s like a bad after school special)
So there they sit in a hotel room, in a foreign city, with Super Shady Guy. Super Shady Guy insisted that Jane take a hit off of a herbaceous cigarette to dispell the suspicion that Calamity and Jane were part of the law enforcement entity that detains and charges individuals with selling or possessing narcotic substances (I can’t even imagine who would think that those two were Narcs). The goods were produced and Calamity began negotiations, barely hesitating at the fact that the goods were removed from the oral orifice from Super Shady Guy (who stores drugs in their mouth?).
Moving on, Calamity and Jane seal the deal, at an apparently noticeable discount, and eventually get the Super Shady Guy to leave. Upon closer examination, the purchased goods were not the product desired. Seems they were not behaving in a manner typical to the product. Discovering that the product was crazy scary led to a ceremonial flushing. This was followed by a violent intestinal reaction to the herbaceous cigarette (hello crack laced weed).
Needless to say: Moral of the story, never buy before you sample. Don’t invite Super Shady Guys to your hotel room because they will steal all you money (Jane was all: “Can you believe they stole my money?” I was all like, “Um, yeah”). If it seems too cheap, it’s probably crack.
They were relating this story to me and I looked straight at Jane and said: “I’m blogging this.”
Internet, please welcome Calamity and Jane to my blog.