Put a lid on it
Just in case you’re wondering, it’s about 2 AM and I’m still awake. I totally did some hard sleeping this weekend, but then when Sunday night rolled around, guess who couldn’t sleep. Me, that’s who. So here I sit, naked blogging, terribly sober and not at all amused.
Tomorrow I go to somewhere else to spend some quality time with Bruce (who at this moment is ignoring me and doing work…boo) for a week. We’re going to do stuff (I can’t tell you because the anonymity thing) and some other stuff. It should be fun and I will be sure to not tell you all about it.
There are lots of little things that I think, “Oh, I should blog that,” like 2 hours ago I was laying in bed thinking that for once in my life I want to be first. I’ve never been first. I’ve been somewhere on the list, I mattered, but I never came first. Even with my parents, I came in tied with my siblings and as the middle child I was never first for a time like my sister was. I believe a few years ago she turned to me and stated that I ruined everything. She loved being an only child and I ruined it all for her. Mind you we’re a year and a half apart, so I don’t think she was all that cognizant of being first (and she was joking, it was funny in the context of the conversation, least you all think she tried to put me in the garbage compactor, fear not, we didn’t have one. She did, however, bite).
So there was that thing about being first, and there was a thing about the Sergeant (we broke up a year ago in April). The thing with him was that it all came and went and when it went it really went. I had had plans for a future wherein I would be a Mrs. Sergeant and then when the materialized life was something other than my immaterial dreams I stopped making plans. For the past year I didn’t plan on staying or going. I’ve made friends, but not bestfriendsever here. I didn’t join any club or society or class or group. Now I have plans with Bruce for things all the way in October. That’s a flippin’ 6 month plan. I have a 6 month plan. Will wonders never cease.
And there is the thing about confrontation. I still am so not that but I am getting better. Today I said something to someone at work (hence the vagueness) about some action that offended me. Who knows if the actions and the words will do anything, but at least I said something. And after all was said and done, I didn’t feel that gross swelling of unease in the pit of my stomach that tells me I should have been nicer and just eaten my ire. So that’s good.
I have gone ahead and purchased the Puerto Rican Pumpkin dress for my friend’s wedding. I am vexed over the idea of fitting into the thing so I am on food restriction for the next several months. I should be fine if I am careful. Bruce suggested that I just buy the same dress in a size bigger just in case. I hung up on him. As if. (PS. I know I am not Fat, Sarah told me I’m not, but those snooty women at the dress store really were so not nice and made me feel like a drunken slob. Thankfully, I was just a hung-over semi-slob.)
My grams is living in pain and she refuses to do anything about it. Rather, she refuses to get the simple operation that would solve her problems because she’s so busy that she can’t take a week off until September. She states that as long as she does nothing then she’s fine, I think if she’s doing nothing why doesn’t she just get the thing fixed and do nothing at the same time. She’s being old and stubborn. Unfortunately for her, I am young and obnoxious, and young and obnoxious always beats out old and stubborn.
And that’s it. I think I did the thing where I summarize the goings on and so-forth. See you on the flip side.