I’ve never been good at sharing
I think that I need a nap. I haven’t been sleeping all that well recently. I have always had a hard time when I had to share a room or a bed with anyone else. After a few weeks I get use to his or her proximity and learn to sleep through the noise of someone next to me, but deep down inside I resent the fact that my sleep is being interrupted or modified to accommodate someone else.
This weekend saw J and me at the beach. He came to visit while I was staying at my Gram’s beach house and there were some comments made and resolutions formed. In no particular order they are:
He is not seeing anyone else.
He likes me.
He does not like his job.
He gets along well with his father.
He does not want to get serious yet.
He does not like the cold.
He does like red wine.
He would like to take his time getting to know me.
He cannot consider me a serious option if I continue to see other men.
He thinks I have snobbish tendencies.
He really likes me.
Some of this bothers me while some does not. I know I should have opinions about all of this, but I am so frickin’ tired I just want to cry.
Saturday night I think we went to bed at about 3 AM and were up and out by 9 AM. Then last night at his place we crashed before midnight and I was out of the house by 7 AM. I was sitting in a meeting from 8:30 AM until 12:30 PM. I already said I would see him after work and I just gave up the place at which I was staying to a friend who wants alone time with the boy he’s seeing. I’m still avoiding my own place so I guess I am going to have to spend the night with J.
Basically, I am a girl who needs 9 hours of sleep each night or I am completely unable to function the next day. As far as I can tell I am already down 5 hours of sleep, so unless I get 14 hours of sleep tonight, which means I go to bed at 6 PM and get up at 8 AM, I am never going to catch up on my sleep. Damn heavy breathing man who has spent the last three nights sleeping next to me.
Did I mention that he really likes me a lot?
So we are going to hangout tonight with a couple of friends, he has already said it’s no problem if I stay at his. I mean this is a whole bunch of closeness and togetherness for a relationship that is still in the “I am just getting to know you so I can decide if I really want to be with you” stage. I know that if I spend another night at his place he’s going to think that I am trying to get him to be my boyfriend but at this point I am so tired I am going to be asleep before any action is taken (i.e. an action to remove my clothing) and I cannot worry about what he will think.
Man, I need a new place to live. I cannot keep avoiding my apartment especially with the amount of rent I pay. Eventually I will be so tired from lack of sleep I am going to burst into tears, I am a weepy sleepy person, and J will be all confused and he will run away.
Enough rambling for the day, I promise tomorrow’s post will be intelligent, witty, charming and well put together with a sweater set and a strand of pearls.