It Don’t Come Easy
09/27/2006
To the Russian women (?) writing emails asking me to date them, I really appreciate that you dig me, but I don’t dig you.
To the Russian women (?) writing emails asking my boyfriend to date them, back the fuck off bitches (or bots). I will cut you.
To the random myspace people who IM me and send me emails, no I don’t want to join in on your “nekkid” web cam chat.
To the children playing outside on Sunday morning, your eardrum shattering screams may have been all fun and games but some of the grown-ups were thinking of ways to smother you in your sleep.
To the cafe staff people, a little Nair goes a long way, and no, women don’t normally have that much facial hair.
To the person who catches the 6:45 bus with me in the morning, you are the weight of two Lohans and thusly should not be imitating her leggings and t-shirt ensemble.
To the guy who married a goat, just no.
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My points exactly.
how come you get all the lurve-crazed Russkies and all I get are people named “contusion” asking if I want to “grow free tomorrow!”??
that’s so unfair :(
See, Lili, this is why we jive with each other’s jive. You jive?
Livi- I also get an awful lot of offers for penis enlargments and letters from lawyers who have business dealings with someone who has the same last name as I (no they don’t I am hyphenated).
I’ll trade you.