I’m Very Good At What I Do
I have a phone number. Like if you knew me and I was thinking about talking to you but you were busy, I could leave a message and you would be able to call back and leave a message if I were then busy.
It all seems so easy, but this is the third day of my third week of work and today at 4 PM telecom installed my phone. There is nothing better than calling a doctor and leaving a message and then saying, “but you can’t call me back because I still don’t have a phone number. I’ll just keep trying to call you. Over and over again.” Doctors LOVE it when you stalk them.
I don’t really mind not having a phone to answer. The calls I’ve taken thus far kind of suck. Essentially I work in the complaints department and people just love to complain. They also like to preface every complaint with a brief explanation about how they never complain about anything but the situation is just so egregious that something must be said. People, let me say here and now, if you have gone out of your way to find the number to call and lodge a complaint then you are a complainer. Own that. No really, be proud of who you are. Just don’t try to fool yourself or anyone else, because we are not fooled.
Also we make a note in an official record and we keep it forever. Just so you know, we know ALL about you.