I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again, oh babe I hate to go
So my bags are packed, I have an appointment for a vigorous waxing, and all I have already hit the convenience store for last minute items. Tomorrow afternoon I will be on a plane heading to Texas to spend time with someone who has all the potential in the world. But that’s the thing. We all have all the potential in the world.
If George Bush and his son can become President of the United States, if Paula Abdul can make out with a contestant on her show, if Britney Spears can spend her days eating Cheetos and drinking red bull…I think you get my point. People have the potential to do amazing things with their life. Amazing here is not necessarily used to indicate great or wonderful. Amazing can be used to encompass the awesomely embarrassing.
How does this apply to me; the boy in Texas has great potential. He could be a psycho axe-wielding murder. But he could also be the love of my life. I think I just stole that line from Terms of Endearment. Hmmm.
Anyhoo.
We have taken to talking for many hours every night. He has already said that we should move in together. And of course we will get a puppy. All. So. Fast. So. Soon. I don’t know what’s come over me, because, and here’s the bit about my potential, I am considering it.
Me. The girl who has lost out on many a bag because I needed some sort of internal debate regarding my exact need for a new hand bag (I was so heart broken after I lost out on the sand colored suede bucket bag at Express that I swore never again). I am not a jump into hot water with no idea of the depth of the pool type a girl. I might seem like that, and I have had my fair share of adventures, but even my adventures are all well planned and dreadfully thought out.
The idea that this is a man, a good, caring, trusting man, who has already said that he enjoys my company enough that he would be willing to care and cherish my shoe collection sends me completely off kilter. I just cannot understand why someone who seems so nice would want to throw in with a girl like me.
A girl who has slept with more than twice the number of people he has slept with. Yes he told me his number, yes I believe it, and no I will never really tell him mine.
A girl who has at least three certifiable family members.
A girl who is mean and selfish.
A girl who self-medicated her way through a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree.
A girl who will point out everyone else’s faults to make herself feel better.
A girl who knows all that is wrong about her and still refuses to make any changes, because as mean, selfish, crazy, drug dependant, hormonal, irrational, and rude as I am, I like me. I am happy being all those things.
As much as I want someone to love me for all that I am, I still have a hard time respecting anyone who sticks around because I am just not that nice of a person. Is that fucking sick or what?
So the point being, I am leaving tomorrow. I don’t anticipate writing while away, but I am sure to have something juicy when I get back.