I want the one in red

It’s funny how life folds in upon itself to create this messy existence held together with memories of high school prom dates, birthdays, broken bones, and broken hearts.

I have been so caught up in THE current BOY with potential, he who lives in the hottest place on Earth, that I missed noticing something going on in front of me here in Boston, or rather I should say, someone.

I first talked to J at the end of May. He emailed me via the online dating service. He had a funny hook and a great smile. I emailed him back. He emailed me back. I emailed him back (with my phone number). He emailed me back and said he’d call.

He did call. And call. And call.

I told him I was going to Texas, but wasn’t exactly straight about why. I didn’t see the need to tell him. As far as I could see, where and why I go somewhere was none of his business. We made plans to talk; I think he said he would call me to see how my vacation was going. I never head from him and when TcBwp was called into work one afternoon, I called him. Not nice, I know, but whatever.

J claimed that he never said he was going to call because, in his words, “when I say I am going to call, I call.” Hmmm. Not what I remembered, but maybe the heat has gotten to me. We make plans to talk when I get back. Monday afternoon, as I was lazing about the airport in Chicago, I check my messages and there’s one from J. I called him back and we chatted and made tentative plans to see a movie during the week.

Tuesday afternoon I call him and suggest we go see a movie that night. He says yes. Wednesday morning he drove me home so I could make it to work in time.

Yesterday he called and asked what I was up to this weekend. I said I was going to my beach house and asked if he wanted to come up for one of the days. He said yes. Then I asked what he was up to that night. He said nothing, just hanging out at home, watching TV. So I said, can I come over after I go out drinking with the girls. He said yes. I spent an interesting night at his place.

It’s all made me think about what I really want. I mean, at first I thought J was going to be THE BOY who fills space while I waited for THE current BOY with potential to come home. Now, I look back and realize a) J really likes me, b) all the things that make me like TcBwp are the things that I like about J and c) I really like J. I think that there is a shifting in attractions coming about.

Last night I told him about the trip to Texas, not in great detail mind you, just the gist of it all. He said that he knew. I don’t know whether or not I believe him, but I let it lay. He asked about the “competition” and I asked if he really wanted to know. He grinned and said of course not.

This morning, he kept making comments about Texas-boy couldn’t do this, and Texas-boy couldn’t do that, and Texas-boy will never be able to make you happy. Methinks that J is a touch jealous. When I mentioned that he seemed awfully concerned about Texas-boy, J tried to shrug it off and play all cool, but I think that J really likes me a lot.

Now all I have to do is figure out which BOY I really like a lot.

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