Sunday, February 26, 2006
Being better than terrible
In the 48 hours since I received the call on Friday after work, I spent a total of 21 of those hours on the phone with Bruce.
He and I talk. About stuff. For hours (clearly).
I’ve pushed him out of his comfort zone, which is approximately 3 square inches. He has a hard time answering questions about sex. It’s not the idea or the act of sex, it’s that he’s not okay with talking about sex. Which if you know me, or have ever read my blog, you know that I talk about sex (vaginal, anal, oral) and I use words that make sailors blush (pussy, cunt, whore), often all in the same conversation. Not hugely problematic, but still enough of a ding ding that makes me take notice of the lack of verbiage on the subject. He knows enough to know the pieces that he needs to know so there is a knowing that makes me at least reassured that it can be done, even if it can’t be discussed. And to be honest, the end of the weekend saw him being able to speak of the nether nethers without blushing (and I totally heard him blush over the phone)
He’s okay with a lot of the things that he knows, and as I am just about exposed as can be on my blog, he’s been informed of the to and fro that defined my last year. He’s not okay with a few things, but those are things that can be changed. I am not too worried. I can quit any time (spoken like a true user).
Ahhhh, but the talking, endless talking. Talking. Talking. Talking.
There is something to be said for talking.
He doesn’t live in Boston (what else is new?). Now the talk is about the visit. Time and money to collide in such a way as to converge on a date and place. Then the beyond because the time limit is 6 to 12 months. Thresholds being what they are, he and I will meet ours sooner or later (sooner) and it’s funny, because I think the decision has already been made. Certain certainties are such that we acknowledge the realities and what they mean.
So, being vague, as I am, things are looking…not terrible. In fact they are better than terrible.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Dining by candle light
Today, as I rode home on the T, I realized that it was still light. The sun hadn’t fully set, the clouds that hovered on the edges of roof tops were tinged with pink. Turning the corner in New England means the spring time rains. Spring time rains that come from every direction. Spring time rains that decimates umbrellas and soak through multiple layers. Spring time rains that herald in the summer. It’s so close, I can feel the summer, just…there.
And there, there is where fresh beginnings lie. There is where the plan comes together. The crush from afar, to be referred to as Bruce, is still really afar. He’s suppose to call tonight, as he did last night and the night previous. He says he has a question to ask, he wanted to ask in person, but the phone will have to do as he is afar. I am a little nervous, but only because he won’t give me a hint.
Bruce did, however, suggest (strongly) that I be sober when he asked the question. Uhoh. I mean it’s not a problem and I have refrained from being less than sober, but it worries me when someone says, “I want you to be sober for this.” It usually connotes some kind of driving or the operating of heavy machinery.
Bruce and I have mutual friends. He and I met in a convoluted way that I would share but I don’t want to so. Suffice it to say the following information is both true and worrying. I have been with an army of men. Maybe not an army, but at least enough to create a well armed squad of highly trained operatives who are skilled at eating pussy. Bruce is quite possible my polar opposite. Whereas I am all hey guys what’s up wanna do a line and have a good time ooooh I love dance music did you ever get to read that book on postmodern methodologies who wants to get breakfast in an hour since we’ve been up for 36 hours anyway who has to work because there’s this party oh hey didn’t I meet you last weekend at the Harp? He is all hi.
And that’s not to say that on some super weird level he and I don’t work in a million different ways. I just don’t want to fuck him up, and I see the great potential for me to do just that. I know that he’s fragile, not mentally, but relationshipally. Softly softly is the only way this will fly and even then I worry that I will have done some irrevocable damage. I don’t want to be the girl who fucks him up because I’ve been fucked up and I just think that my personality means that I bounce back (it’s what I do). I don’t know what he would do.
Is this a sign of my evolution? I don’t really enjoy it here on the other side of the sun.
PS. This is what happens when you do a google search on the name Bruce
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Ginormous post, you’ve been warned
So you know the movies where a group of kids go on a camping trip? And they come back with one less person than went out? There is always lots of ominous music and furtive glances, admonitions to stick to the story etc. And of course the mysterious accidental death ends up not so accidental but really an expression of pent up teenage hormonal repression.
That is how I felt coming back from Denver. No one died, but we are all glad to be home and away from each other (When I was invited out this weekend I claimed illness, really I was with my hookup getting hooked up).
The wedding itself, as already stated was just what everyone wishes their weddings to be. Close friends and family enjoying each others company and celebrating the happy couple. Of course there were the dramatic presentations that seem to accompany this specific group of friends where ever they go, Calamity and Jane (remember Calamity and Jane?) had sex in the gondola that ran from the base to the peak of the mountain on Thursday night, were thrown out of the apres ski on Friday night as he was allegedly drunk, and of course, they had a 6 minute delay on their flight home. Calamity left us in the terminal complaining about having to dig their car out of the longterm parking lot. We were totally sympathetic to his plight as we looked for comfortable places to sleep on the floors.
Of course, by now, you know that flight never happened and the crew spent another day in Denver.
(This is the email chain going between Jetblue and myself. I figure as long as they return my emails, I will continue to send them emails explaining all the levels of failure exhibited by their company. I have sent yet another. As far as I am concerned, as long as there are no restraining or cease and desist orders, I am going to keep emailing these people back. I am nothing if not persistent, which will be brought up later in the post.)
Hello Some Girl,
Thank you for your email regarding your disappointment with JetBlue and the way matters were handled with your flight. We have 628 inbound toll free lines and as you know, we still had our customers on hold.
At JetBlue, we are committed to conducting our business in an honest and ethical manner. In fact, since its inception, JetBlue designated integrity as one of the core JetBlue Values. Integrity is the foundation of positive, beneficial relationships with each other, our customers, our stockholders, our business partners and all others with whom we associate.
We sincerely regret that we were unable to operate your flight as scheduled. It may appear on the surface that weather conditions are satisfactory, but weather systems can change quickly, and inclement weather has a ripple effect in an airport where Air Traffic Control coordinates numerous flights for various airlines. As you can imagine, delayed and cancelled flights have a negative impact on our customers; consequently, decisions on flight cancellations and delays are made only after very careful consideration by staff who have the appropriate expertise and experience to do so.
We can understand your frustrations and disappointment and regret you felt the ground crew members were unhelpful and rude. Please accept our apology for the inconvenience the flight cancellation caused you. We value your patronage and hope you will reconsider to choose to fly JetBlue again at some time in the future. We would love the opportunity to offer you the excellent JetBlue experience we strive to provide all our customers.
Best regards,
Carolyn
Customer Commitment
JetBlue Airways
Crewmember 92321
Original Message Follows:
————————————
Dear Wendie, crew member 87876,
My complaint had nothing to do with the weather or the fact that JetBlue cancelled the flight, my complaint was entirely based on the fact that four hours before the flight was cancelled your organization was well aware that the flight crew would have exceeded the amount of hours they could be in the air. Instead of indicating the reality of the situation, the JetBlue ground staff continued to perpetuate the falsehood that the flight was going to take off. Even when faced with concrete facts, such as the flight, leaving from New York, that would have brought the passengers to Boston hadn’t taken off in New York and therefore the flight to Boston would be even further delayed, the JetBlue ground crew was completely unhelpful, rude, and unable to communicate a truthful and accurate image of the reality of the situation. Canceling the flight at 5AM was done after an hour of standing in front of a JetBlue staff member who continued to maintain that all was well.
This flight was not cancelled due to inclement weather, it was cancelled due to lack of staff and mismanagement of resources. To say that I wouldn’t fly JetBlue if it were the only option left in the entire United States, is actually a gross understatement. I will proceed to describe my experiences and the experiences of those around me, some of whom were treated extremely rudely by your staff, to absolutely anyone and everyone who will listen. I will not be flying with your company again as your organization did not value me and my patronage. This was the most frustrating and unacceptable experience I’ve ever had with any airline.
Consider me an unhappy JetBlue customer.
Some Girl
————————————————————————————————————————
From: Dear JetBlue
Dear Some Girl,
Thank you for contacting us concerning your JetBlue flights. Due to the Northeast winter storm, JetBlue has received an unusually large number of customer emails, which is the reason that we were unable to respond to you in a timely manner. We also apologize for the difficulties you have experienced trying to reach us by phone. We are currently experiencing an increased volume of phone calls due to weather related issues and the temporary closure of the JFK, LaGuardia, Newark and Boston Airports.
We thank you for taking the time to write us about your recent flight, and for expressing your concerns and comments regarding the way that JetBlue handled the weather delay. At JetBlue we make every possible effort to operate on schedule. However, once in a while, inclement weather makes it necessary to delay or even cancel flights. As always, our foremost consideration in these cases is the safety of our customers. We sincerely regret that we were unable to operate your flight as scheduled. Please accept our apology for the inconvenience it caused you.
We value your patronage and hope you will choose to fly JetBlue again at some time in the future. We look forward to seeing you onboard and to having another opportunity to offer you the excellent JetBlue experience we strive to provide our customers as well as to regain your confidence.
Sincerely,
Wendie
Customer Commitment Crew
JetBlue Airways
Crewmember 87876
>————————————
Customer name: Some Girl
Message:
I have been sitting in Denver International Airport for over four hours, waiting for the 11:35 PM flight #490 to Boston. The snowstorm in the Northeast delayed and cancelled flights across the board.
Over the past 24 hours we tried to change our flight. There were various advisories instructing all passengers to change their flights. We were unable to change the flights online and tried to call 1800 jetblue. Over the 24 hours we called repeatedly. We only heard a message instructing us that due to heavy call volume, to go online to change our flights, then the call would disconnect, never allowing us to wait for an operator.
When we checked at Jetblue.com, we were told that the flight was on time. When we checked in at DIA, we were guaranteed that the flight was taking off today.
We were just told that there is a good chance that the flight, now delayed to 5:20 AM will be cancelled due to the fact that the crew is past their overtime hours.
Of all the flight experiences that I’ve had, I’ve never been more disappointed in the performance by an organization. Hours before all of this started, the ground crew had to have known that this flight was going to be cancelled. I cannot state clearly enough that the service by your organization failed miserably.
The fact that there has been absolutely no disclosure until the very last possible moment is clearly a hole in your business model. Perhaps you could work on this for your future passengers, as I don’t see any possibility of me being a repeat customer.
(This is the end of the rant. I feel better. Stay tuned, maybe I’ll get a free ticket on Jetblue just so that I leave them alone.)
Back to the wedding, I skied, it was good fun and I have every intention of repeating next winter. And no matter what else occurred, we will all remember some great moments in Vail. However, the standout moments, that come with quotes, came in the Comfort Suites somewhere in the deserted Denver plain. While watching movies…“Hi, I just spoke to my sponsor and he says I owe you an apology.” and “What? Is it learn your fucking lesson day?”
So last week, having missed Monday and Tuesday due to trappage in Denver and exhaustion, I worked on Wednesday and Thursday. I had requested Friday and Tuesday off to make the holiday weekend longer and to give me a chance to go see Some Boy. But alas, Some Boy turned out to be all kinds of wrong. I did contemplate going to work and forgetting about the time off, but in the end I took the extra long weekend, and I now have more to share.
So Friday night came, and as I had spent the day relaxing, I was restless. Enter Hookup stage left, referred to as Koala in this post. He and I did what we do so well and the next morning he drove me home. As always, when I want to see him, I will call him. He knows the rules and is mindful of breaking them. Saturday morning saw me at a dress shop getting fitted for a dress to be worn in the next wedding I am in. The color is officially Burnt Orange, but I like to call it Puerto Rican Pumpkin. Saturday was finished with a late night chat with the Free Spirit (see below). We seem to have enough to say to each other that time slips on by.
Sunday was the day that I cleaned the hell out of the apartment. Needed as I live with two boys. They aren’t messy, but they aren’t clean.
As I had Tuesday off of work, I went on a date on Monday night. Providence, about an hour south of Boston, is where the Free Spirit lives. He is an artist and self employed working in graphic design. Things were going well. We enjoyed a really nice dinner, then went for a drink elsewhere, then back to the first place to listen to some music. Free Spirit’s friend was playing lead sax. We had a good time, good conversation and good vibe.
Back at his place we settled on the couch for a movie and some making out. And here’s where things go odd. So we’re totally there messing around etc, watching a movie, smoking weed, we’re in the mix and we settle down to watch the movie, and gradually over the course of the evening he stops with the signs of affection. By the end of the night, and I spent the night at his because it was a long ride home, he’s sleeping on the other side of the bed, absolutely no contact, no cuddling this morning. We went for breakfast and conversation was easy, but I was still feeling this big space between us.
Could this have been buyer’s remorse? He just didn’t want me and figured that if he backed off the displays of affection I would get it? The Film Executive, who I tend to run these things by because he has a better idea of what guys think about me than I do, had two possibilities, one is sad and one is wrong. Eliminating the wrong one (he was having a hard time performing, trust me, the pieces were all working just right) leaves me with the following: “Yeah maybe he realised that it wasn’t going to be anything massive and was actually a gentleman and decided he shouldn’t take it too far.”
Ugh, so, trusting the FE, because after all this time, he has always been and is always spot on with this type of analysis, I guess that I should not wait for The Free Spirit to call. Damn.
But here’s the other thing, because I trust the FE, I am going to make it my business to pursue someone else. You see, a while back I slipped into a post that I have a crush on someone. At first I pushed it away because, it just didn’t make sense…or work. This is the girl who would go to the far ends of the earth just to be sure, so if I am thinking it’s just not going to work, I trusted my instincts (fears). But pushing something down just because it may be inconvenient, will only work for so long, because the shit just keeps rising to the top. I could only try for so long and eventually I cracked. I cracked in the shape of a pussy. I sent a thinly veiled email to the object of my affection and waited.
The response, which took a number of days to get, was less than encouraging, but not totally discouraging. He pointed out all the reasons, why not, even though he too felt the same thing. And if you’ve read anything here, you know that why not never works with me. I don’t understand the why not. I jump in, make a mess and see the light. Until the mess has been made, though, there is no light to be had. All of this is important because, in response to my telling him the story, the FE had this to say: “go get him.” And as you all know, FE seems to know which end is up with me.
The Lone Wolf and I haven’t firmed up our plans yet, but maybe in the course of the week I will hear from him. And OM 2.0 is away on business, so for the next few days there will be no news of him.
Yeah, not really all that sorry about the length of this post, you were warned.
