Laughing All The Way

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Nuts For Nightingale

I crawled into bed tonight feeling a great deal better than I have in a while. Life still sucks, but I am doing better with the ever increasing demands on my day. And then I got another email from my sister. The fourth one today.

We are hashing out my gram’s estate and all I want to do know is stab myself in the eye with a hot poker. Repeatedly.

She started to conversation with: I think we should do x for D.

I say: okay, sure, are we going to do x this way or that way? We could do it this way, or how about this way.

She says: well doing x this way means this, and I don’t know if everyone will be on board, I don’t know any other way to do x, but I think we should really do it.

I say: okay, so do x that way.

She say: well we have to get agreement from the other two grandchildren.

I say: well, whatever you do, I am fine with the idea

She say: yes, but still we have to do it as a collaborative

I say: I DON’T FUCKING CARE HOW YOU DO IT OR WHAT YOU DO JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH IT WILL COST.

Don’t know if this will go on, but I anticipate yes. Sadly, desperately yes. Mostly because I went to email her back with the above response (in much nicer words of course) and I hit the back button so it looked like it deleted instead of sent. I then wrote out the email again and made sure to send it this time. Turns out I sent it the first time. She is going to be soooooooo pleased to get that email (in much nicer words of course) twice.

FML.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

God Bless Texas

Man, watch out when you go speeding in Texas and are crazy and old. They’ll tase’ you bro’.

Bwahahahahaha

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Dirtier than Monica’s blue dress

I was just reading a story about the conviction of a NYC bouncer in the 2006 murder of a woman who was from Boston. One of my former roommate actually went to high school with the victim so I was interested in the outcome of the trial.

In the New York Times article there is a very disturbing sentence:

“One of his mother’s hairs was found on the blanket Ms. St. Guillen’s body was wrapped in, as was semen from his brother Reggie Harris, who had died in 1994.”

Let’s review shall we…semen from his brother Reggie Harris, who had died in 1994. I shouldn’t have to say this, but please, someone, anyone, ensure that upon my untimely demise, wash my blankets. Like, within the first year. Whether you keep my stuff or donate it all to charity, please, wash it all.

wiggity wack

I am home from another funeral. The wife of Bruce’s business partner. It’s 6:45 and I am going to bed. Maybe I won’t be totally exhausted tomorrow.