Some Blog

We Have A Whiner

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Today I was threatened to be sued, not once, but twice.

Someone please tell me why I am working again?

I’m Very Good At What I Do

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I have a phone number. Like if you knew me and I was thinking about talking to you but you were busy, I could leave a message and you would be able to call back and leave a message if I were then busy.

It all seems so easy, but this is the third day of my third week of work and today at 4 PM telecom installed my phone. There is nothing better than calling a doctor and leaving a message and then saying, “but you can’t call me back because I still don’t have a phone number. I’ll just keep trying to call you. Over and over again.” Doctors LOVE it when you stalk them.

I don’t really mind not having a phone to answer. The calls I’ve taken thus far kind of suck. Essentially I work in the complaints department and people just love to complain. They also like to preface every complaint with a brief explanation about how they never complain about anything but the situation is just so egregious that something must be said. People, let me say here and now, if you have gone out of your way to find the number to call and lodge a complaint then you are a complainer. Own that. No really, be proud of who you are. Just don’t try to fool yourself or anyone else, because we are not fooled.

Also we make a note in an official record and we keep it forever. Just so you know, we know ALL about you.

Tocked

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Work is going much better than I thought it would, inasmuch as I don’t want to cry at the end of each day.

The turmoil of the previous week was that when I was given the verbal offer I mentioned some days I would need off for some pre-existing commitments. The HR specialist said that the dates were fine. I didn’t think too much about anything until the day I first met with my supervisor and in the course of a conversation alluded to a big vacation I have planned in December. I don’t know what made me say something, I just felt like there should have been more of a recognition than I was given. I asked if she was aware of my plans for the next few months and she looked at me with an entirely blank face. And then she said: “Oh, I’m sorry. We have a strict policy about new employees not taking any personal time off for the first six months of employment.”

Eventually sanity won through and the medical director, to whom both my boss and I answer, gave the thumbs up on my time off through the beginning of next year.

Just as with every job the first weeks are a little slow going. I have times during the day where I stare aimlessly off into space. Luckily I face a wall so if I am careful about how I tilt my head no one can tell that my eyes have glazed over and a little drool has started to collect in the corner of my mouth. I’m sure that in about four months I am going to miss these days of aimless staring.

So noted

Monday, September 24, 2007

Bruce has returned from his travels. He picked up this habit that I recognize as similar to the faux British accent with which I spoke for about six months. Yes, Bruce spent the day saying the three Italian words he learned. He also displayed a penchant for saying: “In Italy we tend to…” and “Us Italians like to…” as well as “The Venetian hookers on the corner like to wear their undergarments as outer garments.”

I was a second away from stabbing him in the eye with a pen, but I have to be patient with dear Bruce. He’s only ever traveled for business so while he’s been places it’s not as if he’s been any place cool. This was his first experience in terms of going to a place that is a tourist destination and this was his first time where he had a day to go and do something touristy.

I think that Bruce is opening to the idea of travel with an eye toward the adventurous now that he’s been on this trip. At least once a day he’s declared that we need to go to Venice on vacation. I don’t think it will happen soon, we have some things planned for the next year that preclude a trip to Venice and now that I am working I have to be mindful of things like earned PTO and the like.

And if Bruce asks you if you would like some Limoncello just roll your eyes. He doesn’t even know what Limoncello is.

Bitter

Sunday, September 16, 2007

So Bruce is away for business again. Normally Bruce goes to places that are low on the list of places I would like to visit. This time, however, is different. Bruce is in the European country that one might associate with Vespa, Gucci, and Versace. For the past week he has been eating the food and breathing the air of ancient buildings etc. Today Bruce informed me that his trip may be extended through yet another weekend.

So just to put this all into perspective. Bruce made me start working and then gets sent on an all expense paid trip to Europe for 11 days.  Bruce spent the afternoon moaning to me about how much fun this would be if I were there and how he just wants to come home. The kicker about all this is that something that was told to me before I started work may be incorrect and I may have to quit my job. The job quitting would happen in the upcoming week. Awesome.

I could be somewhere else having an amazing time but instead I’m here alone watching “The Two Coreys”.

Oh God

Friday, September 14, 2007

This past week was the first week of the rest of my life. My new place of employment has a strict no internet policy. I can safely use about 15 minutes a day without too much recourse. Living life without google at my finger tips is a life that’s just not worth living.

I spent the day working out the formula for a series of standard deviations to be put into about 50 excel spread sheets with six categories on each sheet. Seriously, throw some numbers at me and I can hit you with the 3-sigma pretty quickly. I have high hopes for this job. I also have high hopes that I will suddenly become independently wealthy. Too much?

Today I realized that I can now share some of the fun things from my old job. Like the time I had to fire an employee. This crazy mother fucker does the big nasty of healthcare and violates a patient’s confidentiality. I over-hear the whole shebang and report him. This was not exactly our star employee and after many years of write-ups and warnings this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. And speaking of camels, this employee once came in dressed for Halloween as an Arab. Yeah. He wrapped his head in a white cloth with a black band around his head and called himself an Arab. And it seriously took three more years to can his ass. Good times.

Some how I don’t think they dress up for Halloween at my new place of employment. Maybe that’s for the best.

The One With 600 Thread Count

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Bruce and I have achieved a higher level in the apartment. This weekend we bought a new duvet, one that was a little bigger than the one we had. The duvet covers at Macy’s were way too expensive, so we ran through Bed, Bath and Beyond and there was the most perfect duvet cover. I didn’t even know they made duvet covers with a 600 thread count, but tonight I will sleep the sleep of the loved and decadent. If only they had the matching sheets.

Also, we got fish. We refer to them as “he” and “she”. We don’t really know if one is a he and one a she, but based on their coloring we are being misogynistic and racist so we call them he and she. We have been talking about setting up the fish tank for months and we finally got our shit together. Bruce has taken to running over to the tank and shouting: “HEY FISHY!” They love that. We are a bit unsure about where this will go, in a few weeks we will get a school of small and bright fish and maybe a snail or crab. But right now we’ve got some live plants and some fish and nothing has died yet. Oh, that reminds me, I need to send Bruce an email that says: “Fish still alive.”

We leave for Boston this weekend. I have a family thing and when I get back, I start work. Ole!

Fucking Slobs

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

I live in something of a high-end community. The rent we pay is four times what I was paying in Boston. This is suppose to be a nice place to live. The operative word is suppose. This weekend someone here dumped a bag of dirty kitty litter in the garbage room. Unfortunately when I say dumped, I mean quite literally all over the floor. There were chunks of cat feces and globules of cat urine sitting in a warm room for three days due to the long weekend.

The garbage room still retains the pungent aroma even though the maintenance man cleaned the room this morning (and let me say that I am pissed that some man had to spend his time picking up someone else’s cat shit).

What really annoys me is that Bruce refuses to allow me to have a pet yet I have to live with slovenly assholes who dump their cat crap in the communal garbage room. I’ve stopped by the front office and mentioned the situation to the property manager and she is going to send out a letter to the occupants regarding the proper use of the garbage room (really, is that so necessary, apparently yes, because quite regularly the garbage chute is backed-up).

I don’t know why I have moved to a pseudo-slum, this is clearly all Bruce’s fault.