From Here To Eternity
Monday, November 27, 2006
I just watched the worst Blind Date ever. I don’t know if you’ve seen this show, but the title clearly states the premise. People get set up on blind dates and the whole thing is filmed.
I don’t know who in the casting department fell down on this one, but this Chinese girl cussed out the Russian guy so hard that they bleeped for two minutes straight ended up throwing shoes and punches. It was awesome. No really, the whole thing, a train wreck from the word go, they were swearing at each other in foreign languages and she roller-bladed away from him at the skate park and then they went to the gym (which, as an aside, I’ve been on many a date, never to the gym before, but these kids today doing all kinds of crazy things, like going on a date to the gym) and she proceeded to pummel him with hands, shoes, and balance balls. The episode ended with out-takes from this date, the stuff that landed on the cutting room floor, like the guy smelling her shoe and trying to strangle her with a jump rope.
The greatness of this episode might never be surpassed.
And for what it’s worth, even on my worst dates, my date never tried to kill me.
For my next trick I will learn how to tie my shoes
Sunday, November 26, 2006
So I really have no excuse for my excessive laziness with my posting, except that I have very little to further state about my current lazing about in my pajamas. Still no job, still lots of sleeping in, still not a contributing member of society, but still working on all that.
Bruce and I did have a wicked awesome Thanksgiving, if not entirely different from what I am use to for Thanksgiving.
We decided to go into San Francisco for Thanksgiving dinner and when we realized the time we would be finished eating would be late enough that Bruce wouldn’t want to drive back home. The restaurant, Equinox is located on the roof of a hotel, so we decided to make a night of it and stay over night at that hotel. Apparently due to the fact that most people go home and stay with their families for the Thanksgiving weekend, the hotel was having a deal on the supa-fly rooms so we had a room with a view of the bay (seriously, the room cost less than the dinner). It was nice to have the whole of Friday in the city, because we don’t often get into the city that early (we like to sleep in) and during the week (turns out that Bruce usually works during the week, how stupid). We also explored different parts of the city, which means less new shots of the Embarcadero and new shots of other things. How very exciting.
But! I have to tell you, so I was seated at the restaurant and was all chatty chatty chatty and then turned to Bruce and said, “I am suddenly feeling, um light headed and…Hey, are we moving?”
In that moment Bruce gave me his patented “Why are you so dim and dizzy? How is it possible that you don’t choke on air?” incredulous look. Turns out that Equinox is a well known REVOLVING restaurant. So yeah, there was a bunch of hype about going there and several people recommended the restaurant. I guess I should have found out WHY everyone was all up in our grill about the place.
Style or substance
Sunday, November 19, 2006
My friend date went VERY well. I was very heartened by the results. He and I had lots of common chatting ground and we lost track of time. I had to meet Bruce for dinner so it was more a quick drinks date. Like back in the day when I was dating for another reason, drinks and a two hour window for a first date. Always have a way out and your phone. I suppose trying to date for friendships should follow most of the rules for dating for relationships.
So, unfortunately, there is no funny story, but really, it’s better for me this way.
Does Dose?
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I think I’ve been dosed.
I just had the most gratifying pee EVER. I must have been holding that in for hours, but I was caught up in my computer (I’m applying for jobs, I promise). When I get high or drunk I tend to find myself always very glad to be going pee. Even if I just did. It’s like my entire body relaxes and my body slumps over. See, this is why it happens when I am a mess. But right now, on Wednesday night, I can’t imagine why it was such a relief.
All The King’s Horses and All The King’s Men
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Remember when I started blog and I told funny stories about dates and stuff? Yeah, well being happily ensconced in a relationship, the funny dating stories have ended. Luckily for you, my relationship didn’t actually stop me from dating.
I thought it would be a one-time thing, you see back in September I accidentally went on a blind ménage a date. PB and I were getting together for a going away drink and live music (monster) mash. We had tried to plan this for a bit but the summer is too hectic and so the sweet sorrow parting shots took place a few weeks before I left. There was a concert of um…folkish twangity twang twang music and some other spoon-playing variety.
What was meant to be a night where PB and I drank and eased on down the line was added to with PB’s best childhood (and possible crush having) friend. We’ll call him, um, I don’t know, how about Bor. Yes, Bor, so Bor had a friend playing folkish twangity twang twang music and some other spoon-playing variety (see how this comes together) and so plans were made for we three. Three turned into four with the inclusion of the Bor’s new girlfriend, Anti-Fun. Yes, Anti-Fun was, well, no fun. She did live up to her name.
Here’s the background: Bor has a crush on PB. PB is pretty and fun and smart and all things wonderful. Historically Bor’s girlfriends have really disliked PB, mostly because PB is so wonderful, but also because Bor’s crush on PB was barely hidden. Bor finally figured out that he should be contained with all the praise he tended to lavish upon PB. Anti-Fun was not clued into the full situation, just that PB and Bor went way back in the day. In my opinion, Bor brought Anti-Fun to meet PB because he was trying to wave a banner in the air. A banner that says: “SEE, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. I AM HAPPY AND CONTENT AND HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP RIGHT HERE. Also we’ve been dating for two weeks and are totally head over heels in love with each other. Look, we’re in love, can’t you tell by all the public displays of affection and all the time I tell you how great she is. SHE IS GREAT AND WE ARE VERY VERY VERY HAPPY.”
Back to the story. So, PB and I gather at her house and wait for Bor et al to show. The happy couple arrived and almost immediately I keyed into the vibe (see above). I pushed aside my doubts and looked forward to my night with PB. After a brisk walk where the city mice (PB and I) walked and the country mice (Bor and Anti-Fun) slacked and moaned about how fast PB and I were walking. Country Mice need to get out of their cars more. We finally get into the place with the folkish twangity twang twang music and some other spoon-playing variety. As band one and band two went played, well you that music, PB and I observed some behavior that read: “DATE NIGHT.” You know cuddling and kissing and all that PDA stuff. As the night progressed, and here is where I explain that we were told by Bor that the band we were there to see was the third band and was going on at 10, but the band really went on at 12 so there was plenty of “hanging about in a non-specific manner,” PB and I further determined that we were indeed on a double date with a couple making us the lesbian half of a double blind experimental date, wherein the lesbian half were neither lesbian nor blind.
The interesting part really is when I was out having a cigarette, mostly taking a break from the dating couple. While I was inhaling my lovely smoky death (shut up) PB came out and told me the most shocking of stories. Apparently, the running conversation throughout the evening regarding the famous and infamous (this was around the time of Crotch-Shot Lohan) and before we left for the “music” we has a little show from the various web sites that showed Ms. Lohan’s, erm, short comings, so as the evening continued PB and I chatted about all the people we read about but had never met. Finally, while I ran for freedom in the form of cancer, Anti-Fun turned on PB. PB was told that she should be less concerned with famous and shallow people and be more concerned with real life.
Okay, okay, okay. I don’t know what the hell Anti-Fun thinks is real life, but in my world, Lindsey Lohan’s crotch shot is real life. Also, god, what a cunt. No not Lindsey, Anti-Fun. Really she was. By about this point of the evening both PB and I were ready to bail on the double date from hell. I left PB to handle the incredible duo and made tracks for home and swore that my dating days were over.
So, um, I have a date on Thursday. I am making new friends in San Francisco and Thursday, I am meeting a potential new friend found via Craig’s List. Also, I am going to meet my new potential blog fodder. Hopefully I have something to tell you on Friday.
Fester
Monday, November 13, 2006
I had a dream. I was removing my own ingrown toenail (ouch) and it was just deeply rooted in my toenail bed. And moldy. Green furry mold and a giant nail.
Confusing.
After Midnight
Some Girl: Baby can you roll over please?
Bruce: MDFaewrhawna MAfwjowhf
Some Girl: Thanks baby.
Bruce: You know if we get stuck in this position we can get on TV.
Some Girl: Uhhh?
Bruce: And we won’t need ID.
Some Girl: Uhhh?
Bruce: (SNORE)
Some Girl: Man, I need to start recording these conversations for you to hear in the morning.
Bruce: (SNORE)
You are now free to return to the building
Thursday, November 09, 2006
The most annoying beeping occurs outside of our apartment, almost nightly. There is a panel in the outer hallway that indicates that the smoke detector has been triggered. As far as we can tell there is no reason for this alarm being triggered, mostly because we’ve yet to be smoked out of our apartment. Also, one day a few weeks ago, I awoke to the fire detector in our bedroom flashing and a single round of the alarm. I shook Bruce and said, “HEY!” Bruce looked at me and replied, “Don’t worry, it doesn’t apply to us.”
Apparently I accepted his explanation and we both rolled over and went back to bed.
Um, where did he learn that fire alarms don’t apply to him and when did it become okay for me to accept his declaration that the fire alarm does not apply to me?
Bruce, you’re on notice
I find Will Ferrell oddy actractive. Like, if I were to leave Bruce, I would try to get with Will.
Melange
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Zoolander…I’ve seen the beginning a bunch of times, never the ending. Until right now. Seriously, I’ve watched the first half enough to quote lines but then I drop off to sleep. I guess it never bothered me, and to be honest, I watched the ending only because nothing else was on TV. Well, there is Bridezillas, which is a guilty pleasure, but it wasn’t a good episode. Just a run of the mill, boring yet totally crazed bride being bitchy.
Also, a couple I know from London were in the city this week. It was nice to see them. I went to grad school with her and she’s one of the few with whom I stayed in touch. It was a nice break from my vigorous schedule of sleeping and television watching. I am so weighed down by the effort of putting on clothing every day. So I stopped putting on clothes.
I went to a beat cafe. Apparently one Mr.Kerouac liked to chill there in his day. Also there was a beat book store. It was a little outside my stream but I am always up for a swim. I was approached by the Scientologists. The girl trying to wrangle the passer-byers into being believers asked if I had ever heard of Dianetics. I looked the girl straight in the eye and said: “Crazy Tom Cruise”. Enough said I suppose.
The good news is that I don’t know of any up coming weddings. Well, there is my cousin who is getting hitched on a cruise to somewhere warm, and then Bruce’s sister, and then Carrie Patch, but after that, no more weddings and no more orange dresses (and yes, the photos proved that the dress was mother fucking orange, ah well, done and over with).
I’m a little disappointed with my Dell laptop. Dell uses a new wireless card type (the width is 34 mm instead of 54 mm) but has yet to start mass producing a card that fits. My laptop is 11 months old and I finally have the right card. I swear, my next laptop is going to be some other brand. Oh, wait, there are like two companies that make decent (read affordable) laptops. Dang it Dell. ~ A quick search of the Internet revealed that there are other sources for laptops beside Dell. Of course, when I am in the market for a new laptop in about four years, who knows what will be around.~
I need to start getting out of bed before noon or I am going to have such a hard time when I eventually go back to work. Also, that whole not wearing clothing thing is also going to come into play when I go back to work. Maybe I should think about a work from home situation. That way I can remain in my blissful and mostly nude prone position.
um?
help? I’ve had to do some serious machinations to get my blog back up. Many thanks to Charles (the Tech) for his hand in answering questions. There may be weirdness, but I can’t handle the truth. So I’m back and working and blah blah blah.
Yes? No? Tell me if you see weirdness. Although, even if you see weirdness, I might not care. Whatever. I’m back, I can blog again. Yeah.
Okay bye.