Some Blog

Track one

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I finally set up my new laptop, I’m still getting comfortable with my new key board, it’s slightly longer than my old one. Currently I have a USB bridge line between the two so that my music files can transfer with limited trouble. I love the fact that I have become so technically skilled that I am doing all this on my own. You see, there’s a thing about roommate 1, he’s kind of bossy. He says that I’m bossy to him too. I know that’s true, so I guess it’s fair-play that he’s all telling me what to do sometimes. The height of it is with technical stuff. The buying of computers (he bought his a week before I bought mine) exacerbated the technical thingy. I have to practically surgically remove the remote from his hands. I know this is what living with boys is all about, but really…

So the point that I really signed on to make was this: NAKED BLOGGING HAS COMMENCED.

That is all.

Good luck, good night.

Home Sick

Monday, January 30, 2006

I wonder if the weekend is finally taking it’s toll, or if this is something bigger. I can’t move, my joints are stiff and the thought of eating makes me gag.

New computer has arrived.

Back to bed for more sleep.

Lata’Gatas

What’s brunch…the meal between breakfast and lunch

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Last night, after vowing to stay in to recover from the excesses of Friday night/Saturday morning, I got a call.

“Get dressed. We’re having an impromptu bachelorette party. We’re going to Centerfolds”

Boston has two strip clubs, Centerfolds being the nicer of the two, was our destination. We saw tits a plenty: small, large, real, fake.

Leaving the club in a terribly intoxicated state, AGAIN, we made it to a Chinese restaurant that serves alcohol after hours. Just what I needed shots of cheap beer to really work in the hangover.

Turns out I didn’t have to worry. Upon leaving the restaurant I made a bold choice. I called Koala, who I dated briefly. A $30 cab ride and 20 minutes later, I was in the arms of a very yummy smelling man. He and I did what we do so well. We both acknowledge that neither of us want to be serious with the other, but sometimes, having unconditional human contact is necessary.

I especially felt that because lately I feel as if I am living on the periphery. Events swirl around me and I think that I am just looking on with a smile on my face to hide the fact that I no longer engage with those closest to me. Case in point, my sister and her husband. I wish that I could properly explain the relationship that I have with my sister. I’ve tried and I’ve failed to do justice to the delicately created balance. We’ve had these phases in our lives where we were the best of friends, yet at other times it seems as if we don’t have a thing in common. I know that she wants the best for me, but I think she wants what she feels is best for me rather than what is really best for me.

The longer that I stay in Boston the more frustrate we become with each other. Her life is her golden ticket and I am so glad that she found a partner and lifestyle that suits her needs. I just wish she could understand that her golden ticket isn’t mine. We’re in a bit of a downswing, she and I, where spending limited amounts of time with each other is still too much. A while back I asked her to stop reading my blog. I needed her to not know some of the things that I had going on in my life, I needed the right to choose what to share and what to keep to myself. She agreed, but I guess she went on one day and read a post I wrote. She felt like I exploited her. She felt that through all these years she’s always been supportive and defended me to the end. She believes that I didn’t appreciate what she did for me. What I wish I could make her understand is that what she sees as helping me is something of a hindrance. I’ve tried to tell her in different ways, but I don’t think she will ever see things the way I do, and she will continue to act in what she believes is in my best interest.

All of this came out at the strip club. I had gone outside to smoke with my brother-in-law and I think I mentioned something about being sorry that I hadn’t really been sharing what was going on in my life and that I knew they weren’t aware of some things because they had stopped reading. That is when he informed me that she had read and that she was really hurt by something that I wrote. I knew before he actually told me that she had read the post (three parts sister’s intuition and one part stat counter) so I wasn’t surprised by that information, but I was completely shocked at how she took something I wrote about me and used it as a sign that I disrespected her. I had made the request that they stop reading because I was trying to get back to an honest and true state of existence. I wanted to be able to include all of me on my blog without having to field questions over the dinner table.

I suppose that when I finish uploading my archives I will be able to go back and look at what she took so personally, but the final outcome of this is that my sister has sworn that she will never read my blog again and that she will no longer be supportive of me if I so easily exploited her. I wonder if that is true. I guess that is a decision she can make, I just wish she had heeded my request in the first place and let me have this one thing be mine. That was all I ever wanted, something that didn’t have her fingerprints or her tacit approval.

I wanted to be able to not have to worry about living up to the bar she set in both her personal and professional life. I felt like every time I got my foot on the rung and was getting closer to where I should be, the ladder would just extend and the goals were getting farther and father away. Her expectations for me were always made with the best intentions, they just weren’t made with me in mind.

So kind of a long weekend for me. Interesting to say the least. I don’t know what I am going to say to my sister when I see her next as I didn’t say anything last night. It was neither the time nor place to broach the subject, but I know that eventually I will have to sit down with her and have it out. I don’t even know if her husband told her that he told me. I just wish that she would have come to me when she was first upset by everything, and I think that is the biggest indicator of where our relationship is heading.

A lamb chop the size of my head

Friday, January 27, 2006

Hurray for drunk blogging. My new compuiter si still not here, but that’s fine by me, I am making use of roommate 1’s computer.

Half a bottle of red wine, three lamb chops (only two were rare, the one that was medium rare: not so much).

An apperteeeef (sound it out) of Sambukakakaahhhh.

Odka and cranberry (when yoiu can’t taste it, take off the first letter…eer, in, odka…)

Vomit was a lovely shade of cranberry. I would liek to paint my room that color. But without the oder.

Mkay. Off to do more stuff that will make me regret doing stuff when I am haning out with GramCrackers tomorrow afternoon.

Kisses and good night/morninuing.

I might be over something

So today, I will be dealing with the getting my old stuff over here. There is a process. It involves stuff. Stuff like FTPs and some other things. I think it will take me the better part of the weekend, but I am determined to make this work.

I am getting my new laptop in the next 12 hours (I love the tracking systems, I’m a bit of a control freak). It’s going to take me most of Sunday to get the home page set the way I want. I have the image, it’s just not doing what I want. Tinker, tinker, tinker away.

Once that site is set, I am going to start spreading the word. It’s just that I kind of like there being only two readers right now. I like that I don’t have to worry about who’s reading what because there’s only two people and they both get the email versions of things so there’s not so much the interpretation process as the stroking my ego process.

Oh, for those who need clarification:

Last weekend Roommate 1, OK and I went out to dinner. The conversation turned to sex, specifically the anal kind. Just as the boys were getting into it (ha!) OK said: “I really don’t like when you hit something.”

For your reading pleasure, I’ve posted all the drafts that have been hanging out waiting for the right time to be posted, but everything else is gone.

Apparently when anal sex is being had sometimes there are movements…movements that move things down a system of small and large sizes. Sometimes those things further gravitate towards an opening. These things them impact upon a blunt object in the opening…

Do I have to spell this out for you. What else besides the dick is in the ass being fucked?

This was for you Ms. Pants and Miss.Directed.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Like a Russian Teen in Bleached Denim

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Roommate 1 wants to read my blog. He’s been leaning over my should reading the old folks home stuff, but there’s nothing good over there, just the left overs that were never good enough for public consumption in the first place. Like the burned steak that no one wanted.

Like that time (2.5 hours ago) when he burned his esophagus on hot food. First he microwaved it and it wasn’t hot enough, so back in it went for another round of radiation therapy. When it came out, steaming I might add, he dove on in, hence the “burned esophagus.” I don’t know if that is a viable injury but he just came over and asked me if I’ve ever burned my esophagus.

He and I are doing the hirty-girty dance and it makes me laugh. He just makes me feel better. He does this thing where he says: “It’s not your fault.” I believe it’s called being supportive. I don’t know, supportive is a foreign film to me. All kinds of strange sounds that are inaccurately translated by someone who doesn’t speak the language. In the end I end up missing the major plot points.

He wants to read my blog. Point made, Czech.

I was making a point, roommate 1, supportive. Point made, Czech.

He ate his food at such an extreme temperature that he burned his esophagus. Point made, Czech

This man is a lawyer. He goes to work every day and does something that clearly takes a certain degree of education. Now here’s what’s worrying: on two counts, he has questionable intelligence, on one count he has shown clear higher intelligence. (You all better say that the sign of higher intelligence is his desire to read my blog.)

Everyone say hi to Roommate 1. Be nice, he’s taking me out to dinner tomorrow night (and I really do appreciate him).

Another day, anther dollar

It’s been two days since I crashed my blog. I’m going to be fine. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

I am going to be fine, but…I’ve been forgetting things.

I could have sworn I left a comment on a blog, but when I went there today, not so much. I bought a new book, can’t find it anywhere. I remember seeing it in my bag. Appointments have been missed and calls gone unreturned. I’m not so much worried as confused. This is not like me at all.